IT'S ALL BOLLOCKS INNIT

I'm on the toilet right now, writing this from my phone.

Last time I left the toilet, my mum said "can you put the toilet lid down when you're done?"

"Why?" I asked.

She said, "because it's good feng shui".

The conversation might as well have gone:

Me: Why?
Mum: Because -

And then she burps in my face and just walks off.

I'm gonna leave the lid up.

Alex

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